THE THIRD PAGE OF THE BOOK OF Shao'Kehn SPEWING SANE
INSANITY!!!
"You can't be lost if you don't care where you
are." --Unknown
"To become enlightened: say "Rubber
baby buggy bumpers" over and over again until you pass out." --CBOBS,
Revelations 1234:5
Please do not use this document as a
parachute.
Children are sacred
In Trelli
law (the law of my people--well, it's not really a law because there is no
government, but everyone follows this law anyway) it is intense blasphemy to
harm a child in any way--people harming a child intentionally and exiled to the
wild to fend for themselves (an almost certain death). Anyone who does anything
to a child without the child's consent is either ostracized or exiled, depending
on the severity of the incident. And the most intense blasphemy, the one in
which the Trelli will move completely out of charecter for, is child murder.
Anyone who intentionally kills a child is arrested and fed to a Pit Plant with
no means of defence. This has only happened three times since The
Reformation.
IT WORKS NOW!!!
Application to join one of my groups
copy,
paste in an email, fill out, and send to fayanora@yahoo.com!
WHICH
group(s) would you like to join? (Check ([X]) as many as you want to)
Yes No Maybe, why do you wanna know?
Age of sexual consent for
your species (leave blank if you can't remember or if there is/was
none):
Why do you want to join?
(5 paragraph essay, five sentences each, five words per sentence...or not)
List
cabals you're a member
of:
At what
age did you first realize your wierdness?
Anything you'd like to add?
END
OF APPLICATION!
GIVE ME CANDY!!!
"You saw her
posts. Not a single word or idea of worth in the lot. Inbred trailer trash. They
can only function as a gang." --CBOBS, Words of a "Loving Christian"
2000:2 (GYPSYESPRIT)
ME: "You're just jealous because the
voices talk to me!" FIREFORNOW: "They still talking?" ME: "Yup. One of
them is Jesus the Christ, too. He's telling me that he was on acid when he was
preaching, and that he was really trying to tell people about the goddess Eris.
:-) He's also saying that he and a clone of Richard Nixon from our future (sent
to the past by the future Discordian Rulers of the World) wrote the bible
together. Jesus was on acid and pot at the time, after a bad breakup with his
girlfriend, and Richard Nixon Two was high on ecstacy and humping Jesus's leg.
Oh, and Jesus would like me to tell you that to become one with God, you need to
drop acid regularly. :-) But then, I can see you already do. :-)"
Forum Signature of a rather bizarre fundie christian: " I am
so tired.... of compromising I am so tired .... of lukewarm living Lord,
Here I am, with arms wide open, Lord, Here I am, with heart wide open,
Set me on fire! " --CBOBS, Hugh Hefner's Pants
33:19:1
FINALLY! An answer to why we're
here!
We are here because before we are born, all is predictable,
orderly, fair, and calm. And boring. But life on THIS plane of existence (flight
#800) is chaotic, unpredictable, often unfair, and far from idyllic. So we bring
ourselves into bodies with minds that don't remember what the soul remembers,
and we muck through our chaotic little lives. At first, we scream for help,
desperately wanting to get back. Then, we grumble, piss and moan, but accept it.
Then, we realize the beauty of life's chaotic mess--life is no fun if you have
all the answers!!!
"Eris is in children, Who freely laugh
and play, So do something a child would do, At least once or twice a
day." --CBOBS; Deep Shit, Chapter I 1 2 Have
Fun
"Desufnoc
Tey? (1000 points if you can understand what the above
text says without using a mirror... and another 1000 points if you can name five
uses of a mirror. *snickering*)
"God is a salomi
sandwich." --Neale Donald Walsch
Free advertisement for his show!!! (On Comedy Central) Ben Stein
is a Discordian Saint, because he looks boring and Greyface-like, but he's the
funniest guy I've ever seen!!!
"The Ultimate Truth is like an acid trip--never the same way
twice."
--CBOBS; Words of Jesus Upon His Enlightenment, Chapter 4
As a Pope, I have the right to excommunicate
anything! I hereby excommunicate "President" George W. Bush: Bushy Boy, you are
hereby excommunicated!
And as further punishment for his sins against
humanity, I hereby DAM him: DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM
DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM
DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM
DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM
DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM
YOU!!!
Mr. Bush, if you stop being a mean ol' fundy, and if you sincerely
apologize to the nation for your behavior, and start being a wonderful person, I
will consider de-excommunicating you! *waiting for Heck to freeze
over.*
"Where there is a spiritual
vacancy there is a fundamentalist to 'fill'
it." --Anonymous
DIDST THOU
KNOW?
In Shakespeare's time,
mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes. When you pulled on the ropes the
mattress tightened, making the bed firmer to sleep on. Hence the phrase
"goodnight, sleep tight".
It was the accepted practice in Babylon
4,000 years ago that for a month after the wedding, the bride's father would
supply his son-in-law with all the mead he could drink. Mead is a honey beer and
because their calendar was lunar based, this period was called the honey month
or what we know today as the honeymoon.
In English pubs, ale is
ordered by pints and quarts. So in old England, when customers got unruly, the
bartender would yell at them mind their own pints and quarts and settle down.
It's where we get the phrase "mind your P's and Q's"
Many years ago
in England, pub frequenters had a whistle baked into the rim or handle of their
ceramic cups. When they needed a refill, they used the whistle to get some
attention. "Wet your whistle" is the phrase inspired by this practice.
In ancient England a person could not have sex unless you had
consent of the King (unless you were in the Royal Family). When anyone wanted to
have a baby, they got consent of the King, the King gave them a placard that
they hung on their door while they were having sex. The placard had F.U.C.K.
(Fornication Under Consent of the King) on it. Now you know where that came
from.
In Scotland, a new game was invented. It was entitled Gentlemen
Only Ladies Forbidden... and thus the word GOLF entered into the English
language.
You rember
I mentioned a forum called "Christianity Versus The Darkness" in the last page?
A steaming mass of ignorance and hatred, that place. (all bolds, italics, and
underlines are that way 'cause I made 'em that way.) Here's what their start
page says:
Christianity vs. the Darkness
A turbulent
harbor in which Christians can defend their faith against the naysayers and
other assorted dark creatures of the universe. Everyone is welcome regardless
of religion or lack thereof.Every individual and their ideas are
afforded the same courtesy. All topics are open for discussion. Religion,
science or current events.
For the past two thousand years
Christianity has been the light shining in the darkness. All who wished
for a world absent of the seven deadly sins needed only to reach out to that
light. Today that light still glows as brightly as it has over the
centuries. But there are stentorian dark forces which strive mightly to wipe
it from the face of the world.
The ATHEISTS who claim logical
and intellectual superiority. Their god is science and yet their god CAN NOT
locate the mechanisms of its offspring nature's creation of the
world.
The Wiccan, flibbertibgets searching for power in the bottom
of vats and chants from the old satanist days.
The lukewarm
"christians" who acquiesce to the heathen in order that they may escape
ridicule. Who accept the dogma and lies of proof of the
evolutionists.
(Oh, it gets better!)
Rules: 1. Read Delphi's
TOS. Obey them. 2. I have absolute power. 3. Whiners
will be run out of dodge. 4. Submitters of TOS violations reports which
are NOT TOS violations will be run out of dodge. 5. This is NOT a
democracy. This is Not a popularity forum. If you do not like it, ignore it.
If you can not ignore it, move your �ne out of dodge. No one will be gagged
based on popularity.
Such nice people, huh? Makes
one proud of christianity! (NOT)
"I am part Iriqois. The
Iriqois: THE NATIVE AMERICAN TRIBE WITH THE FRENCH NAME! Proof that Eris is
Goddess, and reigns. (When it reigns, it pours!)" --Pope Fay
Invocation of Shao'Kehn to purify
something!
Things you need: 1. Sturdy knife, purified prior
to use (no living thing can have been hurt by it, to your knowledge. Purify it
just in case.) 2. The object to be purified. 3. Altar. 4. Prior
practice of the invocation. 5. A lit candle.
1. Find a place where you can be alone with the
object needing purification and be left unbothered (like your altar), and cast a
protective circle around you. Keep the object out of the circle. Make sure to
have a nice solid knife with you (preferably something other than a retractable
knife or kitchen knife), as the knife is one of Shao'Kehn's symbols. Keep the
knife in the circle. Hold it while you invoke Shao'Kehn. (Note:
If you feel comfortable doing so, this rite is best performed
"skyclad.")
2. Invoke Shao'Kehn with these words: "Shao'Kehn, sia,
Shao'Kehn, Ahnai flo Kriiah Tay'kwiiah, ah-iik mah'chah'lohr'ai
thiiah toik! Uuj la zahvahshah flo Kriiah Ah-Koilii veh Kriiah Shoi'kiik,
ahglorai la nahjah-maak seh hohrt maik
(point to the object), hohrt vahs-nahjah maik, veh moiul-gahnii
ziz! Uuj kohrain Kriiah da-Zahvahshah, moiulain hohrt maik
TAHDJAH! Yai-yah ziz jokiij hohrt indohn fu'fu'un tahshornk
baina ehk TAHDJAH MAIK, ehm sohlohrt tahdjah-maak kindais kohrain quaybahn
ulgork ziz! UUJ KRIIAH ZAHVAHSHAH, ZIZ YAHSO BAINA! (dramatic
pause) Sahn-Kia, Koh Soh La Kohrain."
3. Or, if you prefer, invoke Her with the English
translation: "Shao'Kehn, oh, Shao'Kehn, Holy in Your Splendor, please hear my call!
By the power of Your Hand and Your Knife, see the bad-ness of this thing (point
to object), this much-bad thing, and make-pure it! By all Your Powers, make this
thing GOOD! May it from this day ever forward be a GOOD THING, to give good-ness
on all who have it! BY YOUR POWER, IT SHALL BE! (dramatic pause) Many-thanks,
You Are The All." (Obviously, the translation changes things. "bad-ness" for
example, is the closest approximation to "evil" I have at the
moment.)
4. Hit the object with the knife, but don't break
or harm the object. Then scream at the object, pointing at it with the knife, to
drive away the bad-ness. Then point the knife point upwards, lean back, and say,
"(The object) is now purified, by Your power!" (Or Ah'Koi Bahnis language
equivalent.) Dip the knife in the candle flame to purify it, and say, "The knife
is re-purified by Your power."
5. Say thank you to Shao'Kehn again, as She gets
cranky when you don't, and break the sacred circle. Wait a couple weeks, if it
didn't work (it should have worked), then rinse and repeat.
Notes: It helps to be forceful and energetic when
you do this. Shao'Kehn is a very lively Deity. Practically yell out the
invokation, like you're challenging Her to do something She can't, just so She
can prove you wrong.
Funniest person on that show, IMHO, is Colin Mochrie (pronounced
Mockery--he's the bald guy in this picture at left), whose name proves there is
a Goddess, and She is a trickster!
Let's have something other than the messiah card on this
page...
You are
Gonzo! You're a bit loopy,
and many people have trouble figuring out exactly what you're supposed to
be. You take pride in your eccentricity and
originality.
DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM DAM
YOU!!!