Bigger Hammers

A Pre-Reformation Based Yahgahn Fable

A long time ago, before the Reformation, there was a child named N’yai’nuh, being raised by her mother, since her father was not around for a reason that she did not know.

One day, she found a hammer lying on the ground, and wondered what kind of fun she could have with it. She began her fun with the hammer by banging on wood, toys, metal pots, and many other objects.

She was happily hitting anything she could find with the hammer when she accidentally hit the family pet. It screamed and ran off. She thought it was funny.

I wonder what would happen if I hit a person with this? She thought.

She searched for a person to hit with the hammer. Soon, she found one. She promptly hit Roh’Nahl (her sibling) on the shoulder with the hammer.

“OW! What in the name of Chaos did you do that for?”

“Because it’s a new game I’m playing called… called… Bigger Hammers!”

“Well, I don’t like that game. Stop playing it.”

“No. It’s fun hitting people with hammers. I’m going to get another hammer to hit you with!” She ran off to get another hammer.

No you will not, thought Roh’Nahl, because I’m going to get a bigger hammer to hit you with. Let’s see how you like it!

Later, N’yai’nuh was trying to find Roh’Nahl, now that she had two hammers to play with. She stalked around the house looking for her sibling, calling out to her. However, Roh’Nahl found her first, and hit her with a bigger hammer on the arm.

Of course, N’yai’nuh screamed with pain and wept. She cursed at Roh’Nahl, and Roh’Nahl just laughed, saying, “Ha! I got you back for that, now didn’t I?”

N’yai’nuh was very angry now. Oooh, Roh’Nahl, this means war! I’ll get you back for this!

So N’yai’nuh searched the house, and then outside of the house, for an even bigger hammer. She found a nice weighty mallet with a solid metal head. She smiled, and went out to look for her sibling.

She found Roh’Nahl in her room, reading a book. She snuck up behind Roh’Nahl and hit her hard upon her back. Roh’Nahl screamed and wept louder than N’yai’nuh had earlier. N’yai’nuh ran off before Roh’Nahl could get up.

As the day progressed, this game of Bigger Hammers got worse and worse. It soon got to the point where the siblings were both aching from multiple blows, as each hit hurt more and more until a blow in this game felt like being hit with a boulder.

Luckily, just as N’yai’nuh found a sledgehammer she could barely even drag, their mother came home. She saw N’yai’nuh covered with almost a full suit of bruises and cuts, dragging a sledgehammer toward Roh’Nahl, who had in her hands a very heavy sledgehammer, and a look of malice on her face. She was appalled.

“WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?” she screamed.

N’yai’nuh and Roh’Nahl looked guiltily at their mother. Roh’Nahl spoke first. “Mom, N’yai’nuh started a game of Bigger Hammers with me. We’ve been hitting each other with hammers.”

“WHY?”

“Because she hit me, so I hit her back, then she got a—”

“Okay, I get it. Put the hammers down now.”

They put the hammers down.

“Now for the talk. Come here.”

They came.

“Good. Now listen: why did you feel compelled to keep seeking revenge? Didn’t you notice that when you hit another, you might as well be hitting yourself?”

“Well… yes.” They both said.

“Why didn’t you just stop?”

“Because she didn’t know how bad it felt!” Roh’Nahl said hurriedly.

“I think once around was more than enough. I hope both of you have learned that if you hit another, you are hitting yourself. I want you to promise me you’ll never play Bigger Hammers, or anything else resembling it, ever again. Promise?”

“We promise.” They said.

“Good. Now, while I’m thinking of conflicts, I just heard that the Yirujian War was just declared to be officially over. Thanks to your father’s position as a General in that war, we creamed the bastards.”

The moral of this story is that when you hurt another, you are hurting yourself. The minds of primitive people see this fact, but they do not care. Advanced-thinking people see this fact and use it to avoid being hurt.